I can’t resist posting the Teaser for the new Casino Royale movie.

This is the first time I’ve posted something using YouTube’s shmancy posting thingie.

It is my sneaking suspicion that this clip is not, as most assume, the French Teaser, but rather that the film itself is actually wholly in French.

My name is Richard Marz, and this is basically my first post here.

I don’t know where to start, so I’ll just out and say it:

The trailer for the new James Bond movie, Casino Royale, is rife with homoerotic imagery.

If you haven’t seen it yet, take a look:

I would claim this trailer to be the best example of subversive homoerotic imagery in mainstream film, but so overt is its nature that I do not even consider it subversive.

THE ANALYSIS

[NOTE: all the images look better larger, so try clicking on them.]

The trailer begins innocuously enough with an exterior shot of a building.

This shot would be innocent, if not for M’s voiceover: “This may be too much for a blunt instrument to understand.” She refers to Bond as a ‘Blunt Instrument,” at which point we SMASH CUT TO this:

Which can only be James Bond raping some guy in a men’s room. In case this metaphor isn’t clear enough, we cut to:

A (teary eyed?) Bond, pointing his ‘gun’ at an old man. He shoots.

Then Bond gets into a long, cylindrical lift, which rises up the ….shaft. As this happens, M says ‘I want you to take your ego out of the equation.” Bond replies, “You want me to be half monk, half hitman?”

At the top floor, a Black man stands at waist level above Bond, Gripping his indimidatingly long, hard, dark ‘weapon’…

..which he SWINGS at Bond’s Head! (’Half Monk’). How will James take this challenge of his manhood?

He strikes back, and..

..’exerts his dominance’. (”Half Hit-man”) Then we CUT TO:

‘Dame’ Judi Dench, giving James his orders..

..which evidently involve going to Jamaica dressed as a Gigilo.

He follows them.

BOND: “From what I understand, 00’s have a very short life expectancy.” Read into that statement/challenge what you will. But note what we CUT TO next, because once in Jamaica, where should James once again find himself but..

You guessed it, standing against the wall of a Men’s Bathroom, with his back to us! Will he stay this way? Does he truly have a ’short life expectancy,’ or will he prove otherwise?

He TURNS, PULLS out his ‘gun,’ and SHOOTS at OUR gun!

I can’t beleive they actually set the famous ‘Gunbarrel’ sequence in a men’s bathroom.

What follows is a montage set to the Bond Theme. Some selections:

Next, James Bond dresses up as a construction worker (Village People, anybody?) and sneaks onto a construction site, where he hijacks a Bull Dozer (power machinery) and..

..DRIVES THE BULLDOZER INTO A WALL, which seems to turn the Bricks to Liquid, shooting out of the Bulldozer’s end. (This is pretty clear when you watch the video). Notice all the construction workers running from the ‘Liquid Brick’ shooting from the ‘Bulldozer’. Bond is indeed proving himself a man. CUT TO:

Gigilo James walking with a ‘client’.

If you don’t get this one, I’m not explaining it.

A shot (from behind) of Men In Uniform chasing after Bond. Whatever will they do when they catch him?

Bond just ‘pistol-whipped’ this guy. Whoah, where your eyes at, soldier?

HOLY SHIT, a WOMAN! She’ll destroy everything!

It seems the villianous ‘Le Chiffre’ is thinking the exact same thing. The moment Bond starts to fraternize with a woman, the only man who is his equal — Le shaven-eyebrowed Chiffre — gets jealous. The above two shots should speak for themselves.

So Le Chiffre sends some guys out to kill Bond! Hell hath no fury like an effeminate Bond villian scorned.

(There’s really nothing wrong with the above shot, I just included it because ‘Le Parkour’ is really cool).

Okay, if this shot didn’t remove all doubt from your mind…

..THIS one damn well better have.

In a continuation of the ‘Le Parkour’ chase, Bond leaps from one very long peice of power machinery, onto an even longer one..

Gruelling.

Yeah. Sure. ‘Knife’. Riiight…

Oh, and those soldiers from before? Wondering what they did with Bond when they caught up with him?

Wonder no more. They frolicked in the water.

Now, if this shot doesn’t speak loudly enough to you..

This close-up should clear things up.

I took 2 stills from this inexplicably framed shot, that you may follow the jerking motion of the right hand.

And, post-credits, to finish the trailer, one last shot:

Gigilo James is waiting for you.

Though there is no hint of it in the trailer, supposedly this film includes the famous scene from the book.

(If you want spoilerific information on that potentially homoerotic and horrifying sadomasochistic sequence, I’m sure you can find it somewhere.)

(This movie may be considered offensive by the homosexual community.)

Can’t wait to see how that one turns out. November 17th can’t arrive quickly enough.

I should end by pointing out how amazing the movie nonetheless looks, and how excited I really am.

And by begging Daniel Craig to spare my life.